When Phoebe Secretly Moved Out: Season 3, Episode 6: “The One With The Flashback”
According to the backstory provided in this episode, instead of Phoebe informing Monica that she wants to move out, she begins sneaking all of her items out of Monica’s apartment, moving in secrecy! A real friend would say something like, “I think it’s best for our friendship if I move out.”
Phoebe is moved into her grandmother’s house before she gets caught. When it’s time to fess up, she seems to blame the reasons all on Monica, which really upset and hurt her. Not exactly something BFFs would do to each other, that is for certain.
When Phoebe “Saves” Monica’s Party Guests from Monica: Season 2, Episode 2: “The One with Two Parties”
Rachel’s parents, recently separated, show up to help Rachel celebrate her special day. To avoid disaster and spoiling it for her, her friends create two parties for her, one for each parent to attend. Chandler and Joey grab all of the pretty women and have a raving party, while Monica nitpicks her guests to play games that are not fun and to make sure they close their marker caps all the way.
Still, that’s no reason why Phoebe should sneak all of Monica’s guests over to Chandler and Joey’s party, as if she had to save them all from Monica’s controlling ways. There were 10,000 other things she could have done. Not something a friend who loves her friend would do.
When Phoebe Cut Out Monica: Season 10, Episode 3: “The One with Ross’s Tan”
Monica, Amanda and Phoebe all sit in the coffee house
This episode reveals more of the friends’ sordid history. When Amanda Buffamonteezi, their old roommate, arrives back from Great Britain, Monica and Phoebe do their best to avoid answering her calls, but Chandler blows it for them: he answers the telephone and brings it right over to Monica. They are forced into meeting Amanda at the Central Perk because Monica is too friendly to refuse.
During this roommate reunion, Monica learns that she was the one Phoebe had cut out of her life in 1992. It seems like Phoebe has given Monica plenty of reasons to question their friendship.
When Monica Ditches Phoebe: Season 4, Episode 9: “The One Where They’re Going to Party”
Monica and Phoebe are down on their luck. Both without jobs, they use their talents, Monica’s cooking and Phoebe’s ability to seem intimidating to clients who try to stiff them on their bill, to open a catering business. Then Monica gets a job offer from a restaurant she reviewed poorly after the restaurant owner tracks her down, and then she gives him a taste of what food really should taste like.
What does she do? She accepts the job offer, of course, leaving Phoebe with nothing. Was she just using Phoebe until something better came along? It could be. It’s obvious she wasn’t devoted to her new business venture with her friend in the first place.
When Phoebe Wanted to Sing at Monica’s Wedding: Season 7, Episode 1: “The One with Monica’s Thunder”
Phoebe really wanted to sing at Monica and Chandler’s wedding and would not let up until they gave Phoebe a dollar to book her and allow her to sing on their special day. Is Monica being too snobby, or is Phoebe’s singing so terrible that she should be made to wear a muzzle?
Either way, it seems to be implied that Monica thinks she’s better than Phoebe, that her ideal wedding day doesn’t include her friend’s quirky songs. On the other hand, it wasn’t nice of Phoebe to make such a big stink. Regardless, it’s her friend’s day, and she should be supportive of her wishes.
When Phoebe’s Songs Weren’t Good Enough: Season 9, Episode 19: “The One with Rachel’s Dream”
Monica’s impressions of Phoebe’s singing don’t change when Phoebe insists on singing outside her restaurant to cheer up the people who have to wait in line outside for a table. A nice gesture, surely, but Monica’s real feelings about Phoebe’s singing become apparent.
Monica seems to think that Phoebe’s songs are just fine for the Central Perk but are not upscale enough for her new job at Javu. They resolve the argument, but not with Monica saying that she loves Phoebe’s songs. Rather, they determine that it’s a stupid fight, so they should just give up on it. Monica doesn’t think highly of Phoebe, her talent, or her songs, does she?
When Monica and Phoebe Compete for Coma Guy: Season 1, Episode 11: “The One with Mrs. Bing”
When a hot, available guy was involved, all bets were off! Upon Phoebe’s insistence, Monica woo woos a hot guy they met at a newspaper stand, and when he turns to see who or what that was, he gets hit by a moving vehicle and falls into a coma. That was not enough for these two. They begin visiting him on the sly and outdo the other so that they could be the one to win his heart when he awakens.
This storyline has been explored many times over, but in this one, it’s not their realization they should choose their friendship over men that drives them back together. Instead, the guy wakes up, and he’s kind of a jerk. The issue of friendship didn’t even come up.
When Phoebe and Monica Steal Each Other’s Wind: Season 2, Episode 19: “The One Where Eddie Won’t Go”
Phoebe and Monica talking in Friends
Phoebe and Monica’s super competitiveness with men doesn’t stop at the coma guy. Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica discover a book about women empowerment, and when they dig into some of the questions in it during a goddess session, Monica learns that Phoebe slept with Jason Hurley, Monica’s ex, within 60 minutes of breaking up with him.
Why do something like that unless it was meant to be spiteful and hurtful? At the very least, friends should aim to treat each other well most of the time. If there is a sure sign of Phoebe’s disrespect for Monica, her supposed friend, this would be it.
When Phoebe Outs Monica’s Dating History: Season 2, Episode 18: “The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies”
Monica and Richard in bed in Friends
Phoebe really crosses the line when she reveals Monica’s sleeping partner history to Richard. It turns out, Richard only had two partners, which includes Monica, and Monica had, well, less than a stadium full of men.
Monica is forced to share something with Richard that might not be a good time to share at that point in their relationship. It should be up to Monica when she feels it is appropriate to share something as private as her history of boyfriends. This causes a great deal of embarrassment for Monica, bringing the term “frenemies” to a whole new level. Not cool!
When Phoebe Throws Monica Under the Bus: Season 16, Episode 7: “The One with the Truth About London”
Monica grimacing while sitting next to Chandler on her and Rachel’s couch
Phoebe throws Monica under the bus again when she reveals to Chandler that Monica was looking to sleep with Joey in London rather than Chandler. Someone in the wedding party mistook Monica for Ross’ mother, so in her vulnerable state, she was looking for Joey to make her feel better about herself. Instead, she and Chandler hooked up, and she wound up with her true love instead of a one-nighter.
Phoebe threatens what could be a long, happy marriage and almost ruins the entire wedding when she mentions this fact to Chandler. Was it a passive-aggressive attempt to break them up? Based on their history, you might be tempted to say yes.
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